Acupuncture and Chinese medicine journal for practitioners and students

How do you deal with a parent who was abusive and is toxic to you as an adult, is narcissistic, angry and emotionally unstable? I have already limited contact with this person. Whenever she talks she does this fake “sad” voice and says things like “I wish you would forgive me and trust me, your behavior is killing me.” Etc, etc. For people who have dealt with toxic and manipulative parents, how do you respond to this behavior? How do you have a relationship with someone who is very self-absorbed and manipulative, but loves you as much as they are able? I know this person loves me as much as she is able, and I don’t want to cut her out of my life if possible (I haven’t seen her face to face in years, speak to her on the phone maybe twice a year), but if there are any ways I can dissuade her from using the same manipulative tactics, that would be great. it goes something like this:
Mother acts out and resorts to verbal abuse because she feels unloved and unwanted (I don’t trust her, that is true, but that is not going to change over night). She hams up the melodrama and despair in order to make me feel sorry for her (including her never ending series of medical problems- last time I spoke to her in person she said she had “end stage kidney disease” because she “missed me so much” and she DID seem physically ill, so I was legitimately upset but she refuses to see a “western” doctor because they are “useless”- so basically she will proclaim she has diseases without having a diagnosis). This irritates me and I end up snapping at her and acting aloof or more uncaring than I actually feel because I don’t like crocodile tears or having my buttons pushed. My “uncaring” response makes mother feel even more unloved and she tries even harder to seem pathetic and miserable next time. Is there any way *I* can put a stop to this cycle? Because she doesn’t trust western doctors, I have tried sending her advice relating to eastern medicine and homeopathy and her response is to get arrogant and say something like “You are lecturing me about my health? I was interested in alternative medicine before you were born, so don’t preach to me…” I am a terrible actor so I can’t just act upset or sympathetic to placate her when I don’t feel it and no matter what I say or do, she finds some way to put it down. If I show interest in her, it’s not enough, or I am not paying attention to her beliefs by suggesting she see a doctor, and if I try to show an interest in alternative medicine (one of her main interests) I am being arrogant and condescending because she knows so much more than me. I tell her and show her in small ways I love her, but she seems to want a huge show of emotion. I have asked her to be my pen pal so we can stay in touch in a relatively “safe” (for me) way and she outright refused, saying she doesn’t have the time (she doesn’t work regularly)- she never wants to talk to me on the phone (she is paranoid, I think, that she is being recorded, and because she knows she abused me she is paranoid I will tape her- she even phoned me on christmas morning once to beg me not to sue her). No amount of affection is ever enough and over the last ten years she has lost all the friends she had while I was growing up and managed to alienate her siblings.
Advice from people in the psych community would be welcome, I am out of ideas.I have suggested she see a therapist and you can imagine the response, but I KNOW she is a miserable person and if there is any way I can help her to heal or at least get well enough to get some pleasure out of life, that would be great.
Please no mean spirited responses.

Would you accept a clean environment and a first world social and physical infrastructure? Or, would you prefer the same deal that the chinese workers have? Low pay, few benefits, families in good with the authorities get first crack at higher education, no particular environmental laws to protect health and a ‘retirement system’ that means your family, if you have one, feeds you if they feel like it.? We had the first one, now we’re heading for the Chinese version. Given that our entire world economy is now in the hands of an ever smaller universe of mega trans national corporations do you believe that the corporate power structure will eventually work to the advantage of the 95% of us that work for wages.

Would you accept a clean environment and a first world social and physical infrastructure? Or, would you prefer the same deal that the chinese workers have? Low pay, few benefits, families in good with the authorities get first crack at higher education, no particular environmental laws to protect health and a ‘retirement system’ that means your family, if you have one, feeds you if they feel like it.? We had the first one, now we’re heading for the Chinese version. Given that our entire world economy is now in the hands of an ever smaller universe of mega trans national corporations do you believe that the corporate power structure will eventually work to the advantage of the 95% of us that work for wages.

I was doing the plank and this guy said to me that he noticed that my back was bent and said something about chinese healers believeing that it has something to do with shock that you havtn overcome e.g. something bad or traumatising that happened in your life that you still cant come to terms with…

She turned 42 last month and she met my step-dad a few years ago. My Dad died when i was 8 and she had me and my twin sister in 95 and my brother in 2000 I think she desperately wants a baby of the man she loves and a baby too look after and have of her own as we are all growing up. She miscarried last year and i had no idea she was trying to get pregnant until i was told it was none of my business, so i try too keep out of it but sometimes i say something when she blames it purely on stress however i would say yes it was stress if she had insomnia and lack of appetite however its just work and home she is an anxious uptight person and blames her lack of infertility on me A lot. She has recently started buying pills and acupuncture at a chinese shop which i tried too explain was just money making as vulnerable women trying for a baby will do anything for it but she wont listen. Mine and my sisters birth was early as she had too be educed then my mum had an operation as she lost A lot of blood but my brothers birth was fine i dont know if that makes a difference? She also smokes and eats lightly. I know its long but does anyone have any ideas or anything that may help with this? I just want her too be happy, and if a baby can do that then its worth a try.

Would you accept a clean environment and a first world social and physical infrastructure? Or, would you prefer the same deal that the chinese workers have? Low pay, few benefits, families in good with the authorities get first crack at higher education, no particular environmental laws to protect health and a ‘retirement system’ that means your family, if you have one, feeds you if they feel like it.? We had the first one, now we’re heading for the Chinese version. Given that our entire world economy is now in the hands of an ever smaller universe of mega trans national corporations do you believe that the corporate power structure will eventually work to the advantage of the 95% of us that work for wages.

A study published in the June 2010 issue of The Journal of the American Board of Family Medicine, showed that people who used what the study called “Complementary and alternative medicine (CAM)” received a “great deal” of benefit. Chiropractic was included in what this medical study defined as CAM care.
The study received attention in a number of news stories including an article in the July 4, 2010 Medical News Today, and in a June 30, 2010 Business Wire release by the Foundation for Chiropractic Progress. The study surveyed people who had suffered from back pain and had used at least one CAM therapy in the last 12 months. Of these participants the results showed that over 60% found remarkable relief using the top six CAM treatments. Those treatments were chiropractic care, massage, yoga/tai chi/qi Cong, acupuncture, herbal therapies, and relaxation techniques – with chiropractic care being the most popular choice.
The Medical News Today story reported that back pain is the second leading reason people walk into a doctor’s office in the U.S. The survey looked at a total of 17 CAM therapies choices. Of those, Chiropractic care was the most popular approach at 74 percent, with massage a distant second at 22 percent.
I am not talking about the claims that people make about chiropractic that it will cure every ail (that is a totally different discussion). I am stating that there are those that continue to downplay the role of chiropractic in the musculo-skeletal arena. With this information, why would any person with healthcare knowledge or a self proclaimed skeptic, not at least concede that chiropractic has a very valuable place in the healthcare of musculo-skeletal arena? Knowing that drugs and surgery have potential bad side effects and that chiropractic care is safer and more effective (yes it is not completely without risk) why would a “knowledgeable” person not at least recommend, endorse or refer a patient for chiropractic with back pain? Is it not the position of the medical community to above all else do no harm? If drugs have the potential to be harmful with side effects and potential for addiction and abuse, isnt any of the modalities/chiropractic listed worth a try?
Once again I am not open to debating the “cure all” claims and the risk of CVA. That is not my position here. Please give your opinion about this article as it pertains only to musculoskeletal conditions and the role of chiro for said cases. I realize that is is not a scientific double blind study.

Would you accept a clean environment and a first world social and physical infrastructure? Or, would you prefer the same deal that the chinese workers have? Low pay, few benefits, families in good with the authorities get first crack at higher education, no particular environmental laws to protect health and a ‘retirement system’ that means your family, if you have one, feeds you if they feel like it.? We had the first one, now we’re heading for the Chinese version. Given that our entire world economy is now in the hands of an ever smaller universe of mega trans national corporations do you believe that the corporate power structure will eventually work to the advantage of the 95% of us that work for wages.

Bottom line: I have been searching for a suitable career to study in University. For the past year I have narrowed it down to science-based careers. Lately, I’ve had a big interest holistic/alternative medicine, especially things like osteopathic medicine. The problem is that my father is a snobby, spoiled, social-status conscious and terribly conservative parent, who claims he “wants the best for me” and that this would NOT be the right path for me. Instead, I should become a doctor that specializes in “conventional” medicine branches like Cardiology, Neurology, etc. To me, that path is not the one I must take, because I am strongly against industries like the pharmaceutical industry, which many of these areas support. With holistic medicine, there is a strong emphasis on things that I tend to be drawn to, something which regular medicine ignores.
Bottom line, what to do? Nod my head and do what my Dad says, or follow my heart and passion and study alternative medicine?

Would you accept a clean environment and a first world social and physical infrastructure? Or, would you prefer the same deal that the chinese workers have? Low pay, few benefits, families in good with the authorities get first crack at higher education, no particular environmental laws to protect health and a ‘retirement system’ that means your family, if you have one, feeds you if they feel like it.? We had the first one, now we’re heading for the Chinese version. Given that our entire world economy is now in the hands of an ever smaller universe of mega trans national corporations do you believe that the corporate power structure will eventually work to the advantage of the 95% of us that work for wages.